Mindful Interactions

Hi everyone. Katherine here for another Tuesday post. For those of you who may not know, I just moved across the country. From North Carolina to California. I also recently celebrated my first wedding anniversary and my husband has changed jobs. We also share a car. Needless to say, there has been a lot of communication (along with some communication breakdowns) going on in our house the past few months from determining expectations to who get's the car for the day. I have a tendency when feeling frustrated to react to the situation and speak too sharply or too soon. I joke with the hubby that it is my scorpion nature striking out in response to the situation. In my quest to live more mindfully, I am not always proud of my quick reaction. I read somewhere once (I think on Kimberly Wilson's great blog) to "respond rather than react." That is etched in my daily asana practice as well. Responding to how my body feels by adjusting my asana practice rather than reactively pushing through how I think my practice "should" be. Another key component of this response is that it be without judgement. I also breathe this into my body when sitting in silence - preparing for the day that will ensue and the things that will arise.

I few years ago I took a course on compassionate communication and recently dug out my old notes to ponder. I really took to heart the idea that when judgements arise, it is often masking a repressed feeling or need. When we are able to translate those judgements into feelings and needs we are practicing mindful interaction with ourself and those around us (and we are practicing ahimsa or "non-violence:). For example - Judgement "I stink at meditating." Mindful Interaction " I feel discouraged and I'd like to be able to accept myself. Pretty much you can use the sentence "I feel______because I need_______. " and fill in the blanks to communicate clearly and without judgement. I have been trying it with my husband and getting a totally different reaction than if I approached a frustrating situation with a judging response.

On another note, I think communicating with written word is so challenging. I read several blogs regularly and am always shocked when people comment with negativity especially when the internet can be such a fabulous place to create supportive community. On facebook I also see a lot of people complaining and putting that judgement out there for the world to see. Do you all have any thought on this?

I thought about sharing my sequence from this morning when I was really tuning in to what my body was communicating with me, but instead encourage you to get on the mat and listen - without judgment to how your body feels and what it needs and go for it. Sometimes during this kind of practice, I find myself practicing a few poses and savoring a long savasana...other times I am surprised by my body calling for vigorous vinyasa. Happy listening & practicing.

Want to know more - check out the Center for Nonviolent Communication.