Mark Twain


Okay. Book report time, circa middle school/advanced elementary.

Mark Twain, born Samuel Langhorne Clemens, was born in Florida, Missouri, but raised in Hannibal on the Mississippi River. He wrote, a lot, and said a lot of things. He said so many things that things he didn’t even say are attributed to him. That’s how many things he said.

Some of the things he said we about anti-Imperialism (he was vice-president of the American Anti-Imperialist League), anti-Slavery (he was on terms with Frederick Douglass and Booker T. Washington), and pro-Suffragist movement (see his “Votes for Women” speech). In addition, he predicted to within a day the date of his death, as well as the death of his younger brother (later blaming himself for it). There are lots of schools named after Mark Twain, even though it wasn’t his real name, and I didn’t go to any of them.

While I did not attend Twain Elementary or Clemens High, I did sojourn to Hannibal, Missouri today. It’s on the border between Missouri and Illinois and makes much show of its famous former inhabitant. Why not, when that inhabitant is the inimitable Mark Twain, who wrote, a lot, and said a lot of things.

Mark Twain

For a man who rarely kept quiet on a subject he felt passionate about, today’s practice is noisy. Sometimes noises can help release tension about help get you deeper into a pose. If it isn’t for you, at least give it a shot once. Be loud, noisy, and sound very silly. At the very least, your vocal chords will get a good workout.

  1. Vajrasana (Diamond Pose)
  2. Simhasana (Lion’s Pose)
  3. Kapalabhati Pranayama (Breath of Fire)
  4. Table pose
  5. Cat/cow in table
  6. Vyghrasana (Tiger Pose). Take knee into chest on inhale, exhale kick leg straight out back with “Ha!” breath. Repeat 12-20x
  7. Repeat other side
  8. Adho Mukha Svanasana (Downward Facing Dog)
  9. Tadasana (Mountain Pose)
  10. Bhastrika Pranayama (Bellows Breath)
  11. Vinyasa to Adho Mukha Svanasana Bark. No, not really, silly…
  12. Kapotanasana (Pigeon Pose)
  13. Supta Kapotanasana (Pigeon Pose). Horse lips, vibrating mouth with breath
  14. Adho Mukha Svanasana. Bark. Did I get you this time? I’m still kidding.
  15. Repeat steps 12-14
  16. Makarasana (Crocodile Pose). Take the head to one side, and make a buzzing sound with the mouth
  17. Repeat other side
  18. Savasana
  19. After coming out of Savasana, make lots of morning stretchy noises, moving your body all about to come out

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