Still nauseous/nauseated, so I'm now fairly certain that it wasn't the peaches. Also, my friend (also named Emma) also did a lot of stuff with the same peaches, and ate quite a few, and she's fine. So is Chris.
I guess this is the anti-fun side of yoga. Sitting at home, nauseous, for over two weeks. It comes and goes, but when it comes it is out of this world painful. Breath work is different in this universe. Asana is a no-show. I taught a few classes this week, canceled about 10. I am not okay with being sick, being still, needing to be taken care of so much. I am not okay with the unknown, not knowing what is wrong with me and how to make it better. I want to eat whatever I want, go out, and move.
I am telling myself to breathe, to be still, to take time to try and figure out what's wrong, and know that one day I will be better, but after fifteen days of this I am freaking out. So, Universe, check this. I'm not ready for this big time yet. I don't have the tools to handle this well. I need you to let me just get better, go back to teaching and practicing my non-meditative-boot camp power yoga where the teachers (including me) talk so much you don't have to think (or breathe). Give me some more time to get some more tools under my belt, and then sock me with something new. Because then I'll be ready.
Friday, September 16, 2011
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sending you healing energy and I'll have a talk with the Universe for you :)
ReplyDeleteyou are loved. being sick for a long time sucks, but sometimes you need a rest whether you like or not. after you will feel stronger and have more ambition to tackle every day that you do have to the most!
ReplyDeleteEmma, I am one of your Cornell noon students. We heard yesterday that you might be in ER and it scared us. Please tell me you are doing better. I miss the predictable unpredictability of your classes. No one can substitute you!
ReplyDeleteTo all of the sweethearts--
ReplyDeleteI did, in fact head to the ER. And then promptly spent 8 hours there, until 2am. A terrific mess. I'm having an endoscopy this week and then am going from there. Still don't know what's the problem. Trying to take an active roll in my own health. Teaching a little, not a lot, and classes that are very small, so I don't feel as bad if I need to stop in the middle.
The outpouring of love and care has been out of this world. I've never been this sick before, never want to be again, but I cannot adequately express the gratitude I have to the kindness and patience I have been shown. Someday I'll write a long thank you note that doesn't even come close to what I really want to say.
With love,
Emma